How much do you overlook?
Published by Matt Glover December 27th, 2006 in CultureWe left the Hills early on Christmas Eve and headed for the country. We arrived home late on Boxing Day after lots of food, lots of kilometres and lots of presents.
Anyway, while we were at one of the family gatherings in Kyabram on Boxing Day, a bunch were watching the cricket when Warnie took his 700th wicket. A great achievement sports-wise in anyones book. But when you take some time to look at the man, I wonder what sort of regard we should hold the guy.
I should state my own feelings up front as they colour my view significantly. I think the guy is a pig. The only time I encountered him personally didn’t do anything to dispell that opinion. The way he has treated women, particulalry his wife, used performance enhancing drugs, used disasters for his own personal gain and generally just been a disgusting example of humanity makes it difficult for me to celebrate his achievements.
But why do we as a society tend to overlook all this? Are we so desperate for role models that we will let them do whatever they like a long as they keep us feeling good about who we are and what we’re trying to be? How far would Warnie have to go before sponsors, the media and the public in general start to distance themselves from such a disgraceful example?
In Church circles, the same thing can happen. Martin Luther King Jr is still seen as a champion for the rights of black people, much of which was motivated by his faith and his calling as a Baptist minister. His “I have a dream” speech is now legend. Yet he slept around and was unfaithful to his wife on numerous occassions. Some other big names, while achieving so called great things for the kingdom, have treated family and friends like dirt and left a trail of pain and hurt.
I know I’m treading a fine line here, but the question I want to ask is how much we should overlook? I know we can’t shred people’s reputation for every mistake and poor choice they make in life - there needs to be room for grace and forgiveness - but my feeling is that people we hold up as role models must be that in every area of life. Not just in public but in private as well.
What do you think?
I’m not sure if this’ll get through with the way your comments are going, but I wonder how some of the heroes of the faith would hold up against the standards you’re wanting to use for role models. King David’s misadventures are well documented, even Abraham had a dalliance with his servant girl.
And I also struggle with the notion that the sins we know about are worse than the sins that we don’t. I think that in churches in particular, this culture of singling people out who we shouldn’t look up to, operating with a type of blacklist, eventually results in people not feeling like they can be honest about sin issues in their lives.
I think that operating out of a grace mindset means honouring the good things in people, the things that demonstrate the best of them, regardless of what they have done wrong. Shane Warne has to be considered at very least a remarkably stupid, and (for lack of a better word) messed up individual. He is not a role model for how to live my life. But does that change the fact that when I’m watching him bowl a cricket ball, it becomes a thing of beauty. Grace doesn’t mean that I “overlook” the wrong things that he’s done.
No role model is going to fit the bill completely. Everybody is going to let you down in some way if you look to completely model your life on a person. Instead, it seems to me that the only way to operate is to instead take the good from people, and seek to replicate those attributes in your own life.
I hope this hasn’t been too aggressive, it’s certainly not intended to be personal. I’ll try and ease up on the ranting next time. I really do enjoy your writing, and appreciate that you’re making me think!
Shane Warne is a brilliant bowler. The greatest ever. Shane Warne is a bit of a dodgy person (But not the dodgiest ever). These are very separate things. People don’t get held back for a promotion at work if they’ve been fooling around behind their wife’s back. if they do well at work, they are patted on the back, admired, whatever. For Shane Warne, cricket is his work. Sure, his personal life is a mess, but why should he not be acknowledged for doing something very well? Some of his indiscretions have already cost him endorsements, a year of work, and the Captaincy. He’s been punished enough. I believe that we should be prepared to overlook almost anything. Why?
Geoff was right on the mark - I had a whole post in mind 4 days ago but lost all of my eloquence since then - but if we were to allow the worst things done by Moses, Peter, paul and others to let us disregard the best parts of their work, where would we be?
Romans 3:23-24
There are many things in my private life I’m not proud of. If my work was to be tainted by some of them….Jeepers, my life would be a joke. Some of my work, though, i do very well (with God’s help) What if the good things in our life were overlooked in favour of the bad?
I wrote this a little while ago (stupid server problems!) So sorry if it repeats any of the above
While I agree that there are standards, there is forgiveness. King
David, “a man after God’s own heart” got somebody else’s wife
pregnant, had the husband killed (made to look like an accident) and
married her (wife number…. ?) Yet one of his descendants was Jesus.
I think we all overlook our own shortcomings as well, conveniently
hidden because we aren’t in the spotlight. No human is perfect.
What we should do, and do, is focus on the good qualities. Like crazy
ability at throwing a ball around.
Surely parents can teach morals to their kids, teach them that while
no one is perfect, there are certain qualities shown in some
celebrities that should be emulated. Kids should be shown it’s ok to
be yourself, to grow into yourself, not someone else.
Like the transvestite interviewed on Andrew Denton’s ‘Enough Rope’
said earlier this year- “Be your own person- everybody else is
already taken”
Which is why I think this fuss over the morals of celebrities is over
done. Sure, we are not excusing their sin and calling them perfect-
just celebrating their achievements.
I agree with most of what has been said so far - particularly about the ‘heroes’ of the Bible and their shortcomings. The difference I see though is that ALL of them were confronted by others about their issues despite the god they were doing in other arena’s of life. How they reacted in the face of these challenges is what makes them heroes.
The whole reason I think Warne grates on me so much is that he seems to profit from his actions, no matter how bad they are. Even at his retirement announcemtn media conference, when asked what he would do next his reaction was “I’ll go and have a few smokes…”
Yeah. Great role model there.
Like I said, I am biased. Even so, I don’t think he is a role model I want for my kids, no matter how good a cricket player he is.
Matt,
I’ve come across - have worked with - quite a few of these individuals in my life (and I’m young - under 30!).
The posters above are suggesting that a person’s flaws shouldn’t taint their achievements, and I agree with that. However, I think flaws in people of talent tend to be overlooked because of society’s desperate need for “heroes” and messiah-figures. The media plays a huge role in that. I was reading some (American) psychological research the other day which was based on surveys of celebrities (including some very big names), which found that celebrities were generally more narcisstic, less compassionate, more self-absorbed etc than the average person. I wasn’t surprised by this, and there’s obviously questions of whether celebrity or those characteristics come first - but I tend to believe that it’s those characteristics which can enable individuals to rise to great heights. The problem is, with individuals like Martin Luther King, our need for heroes limits our ability to acknowledge their brokenness. That’s bad not only for us, but also for them. It’s these patterns which prevent church ministers from leading open, honest and authentic lives, and this so often leads to disastser.
For this reason, I don’t agree that we should focus only on the good qualities. What we need is to find a way to accept the whole individual (you’d think the concept of grace would help us here!), finding ways to work with them to maximise their talents while minimising their flaws. Ignoring or covering up the flaws of any individual, no matter how charismatic and talented they might be, isn’t good for anyone, least of all those individuals themselves.
Thanks Bec - great points!