Roll Call
Published by Matt Glover October 26th, 2006 in Misc StuffJust for fun…
Who are you?
What do you do?
What brought you to this blog?
What is your website/blog URL?
Tell us a joke…
Welcome to MattGlover.com
Welcome to the blog of pastor, cartoonist, husband and dad, Matt Glover.
This blog is to share some of my thoughts on life and faith, as well as some of my cartoon work.
If you want to see more of my cartoons, visit www.mattglover.com
If you want to learn how to make money from cartooning, visit www.chewingpencils.com
3K2 theme by Hakan Aydin
Matt Glover
Husband, father, pastor, cartoonist, student…amongst other things
I write this blog
http://www.mattglover.com or http://www.chewingpencils.com
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” he whined.
“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” retorted the officer, “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”
“Oh my god”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, “Where’s my Rolex!”
Lucas Canmore
Student, Youth Leader, Slave (for a cafe/bar)
I came here thanks to my good friend google. Nice to find a place with discussion about putting christianity together with this thing called life.
I write my own bizarre thoughts at http://moreghost.blogpsot.com
A pair of jumper cables walked into a bar. The barman said, I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.
Alison (aka titanium or titanium_geek) (leaving off my last name for privacy reasons)
uni student (Arts / Computer Science), work at a café and kitchen voluntarily during the week at uni, go to Mitcham Baptist church
I found this site because I googled for my youth pastor…
Joke:
Now, this truck driver hated lawyers. If he saw a lawyer, he would build up speed, hunch over the wheel, and swerve towards the lawyer and flatten him. One day, as the truckie was going about his job, he saw the pope (go with me here) and, seeing that the pope needed a lift, he slowed down, pulled over, and reached over and opened the passenger side door “you going my way, Father?” “Ah yes, my son, that would be greatly appreciated.” So, they were driving along, and of of a sudden, the truckie saw a lawyer about to step out from the kerb. He frowned, remembering his hatred for lawyers. He hunched over the wheel, and pressed down hard on the accelerator. Gaining speed, he was zeroing in on the lawyer to flatten him. All of a sudden, he remembered who he had as a passenger! He was already too close to the unsuspecting lawyer to pull out. The truckie slammed on the brakes, wrestled with the steering wheel, and managed to get back on track. Regaining control of the vehicle, the truckie said: “I’m so sorry Father! I don’t know what came over me! I’m so sorry!”
“It’s all forgiven, my son.
I got him with my door.”
—
Sorry that the joke is a long one.
Hi I’m Greg.
I Work in a high school and am technically a student doing my Batchelor of Theology
I came here because Matt managed to mention his website a lot. Its a great extension of our church’s ministry.
I started a blog yesterday. It’s a place for me to live out my dreams. Oh, wait, thats studio 54. Well, its a place for my friends and I to document our pranking epxloits. http://www.urbangeezers.blogspot.com
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.” To the Scotsman he said, “You’re in charge of shoveling.” And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.”
He then said, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile.”
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?” The Italian replied, “I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.” Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, “And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.”
The Scotsman replied, “Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th’ Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin’ him either.” The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled…
“SUPPLIES!!”
Rich Wagner here from Tennessee in the USA. I don’t even remember how I came to read your blog, but I’ve really enjoyed it.
I’m a husband and Dad. I make money as an IT geek. I also lead worship in my local church. I’ve been known to enjoy a good strong stout and love just hanging out. Matter of fact that was pretty much what I majored in in college, hanging out.
Check me out at http://www.rdwagner.com sometime. Would love to have you all.
Geoff (last name withheld because I work for ASIO. Or a university, I always forget which)
I’m a Database Administrator (IT Nerd for the uninitiated), youth leader and part time bible college student
My blog is at http://www.geoffreport.com/wp/
I’ve been reading this for to long to remember why I first got here. But I come back because it’s always interesting (and because Google Reader tells me that Matt’s posted a new post)
Definition of surprise:
A fart with a lump in it.
Dave (name withheld ’cause my parents won’t let me post it!)
I’m a year 12 student (just finished), and hope to soon be a Uni student doing a Bachelor of Computing (Network Design & Security), and I run the MBC youth website, along with assistance from Alison and a few others! General computer geek (Yay for all us IT people on here!) Also a Google and BETA addict.. you can never beat free software!
I came here because I got bored in a class one day at school, and Matt had plugged his website at church the Sunday before…
My blog is at: http://dave-punk-emo.blogspot.com
Ok, a joke… “Two men walked into a bar… you’d think one of them would’ve seen it!!”
Name: Paul
Blog: http://virtuallypaul.com
(Use RSS if you are unhappy with my default approach to graphic design)
How I found Matt Glover:
Kept coming across you. I think I got a hit on Google for something once. Then found you on Darren’s LivingRoom blog and noticed how many others seemed to have you linked (Geoff ^ included).
Me: one of the youth leaders @ Essendon Baptist
Work part-time doing IT support for an accounting firm in the eastern suburbs
Study part-time at Ridley College, going for a Grad. Dip. Bible & Ministry
Before that I did my B.Bus(Business Information Systems) at RMIT in the city
Joke (from an email forward): Little Zachary
Little Zachary, a little kid, was doing very badly in maths.
His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards,
special learning centres; in short, everything they could think of to
help his mathematics.
Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled
him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary
came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t even kiss his
mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started
studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little
Zachary was hard at work.
His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner, to her shock,
the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and
in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.
This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to
understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary
brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up
to his room, and hit the books.
With great trepidation, his Mum looked at it and to her great
surprise, little Zachary got an “A” in maths. She could no longer hold
her curiosity.
She went to his room and said: “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, “No”
“Well, then”, she replied, “Was it the books, the discipline, the
structure, the uniforms? WHAT was it?”
Little Zachary looked at her and said,
“Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the
Plus Sign, I knew they weren’t mucking around.”
Rich, we need a joke. Or we’ll all come over there and make bad smells in your lounge room…
But we won’t let Geoff do it….see his joke above!
General, your link doesn’t work. Is the URL right?
blogspot doesn’t do www’s which can grate with people used to the funny addressing scheme now. and greg can’t type.
try http://urbangeezer.blogspot.com
(I can hear the echo… geeeeeek)
Tim
student, coffee lover, jesus follower, try-hard sms poet, RelientK fanatic…. etc.. Oh yeah, i sometimes show up at mitcham baps too.. that is when i’m not in wagga…. or on a spontaneous trip to sydney…
I found this blog through the MBC website, AGES ago… Enjoy reading what Matt has to say - he’s such a wise guy..!! Good stuff about faith and following Jesus..
Joke…. This is sooo funny…. i nearly wet myself….
The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused.
Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
“Mother,” the nuns asked with humility, “please give us some wisdom before you die.” She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, “Don’t sell that cow.”
Well… lets see
My name is Curious (don’t worry, not my real name, my parents aren’t that cruel) I’m over at http://www.lizboliv.blogspot.com/ (Curious Happenings)
I found you through Mitchamite friends, and out of curiosity too. But I first found you through my sister, you see, i had had a bad day, and was needing cheering up, so she showed me your blog with the cartoons.
Ok, a joke: In the days of yore, a knight was on his way to do something terribly important, riding his horse into the ground to get to his destination as fast as possible.
After being ridden too hard for too long, his horse became lame, and seeing a small town ahead he headed straight for the stables there.
“I must have a horse!” he cried “The life of the King depends upon it!”
The stablekeeper shook his head. “I have no horses,” he said. “They have all been taken in the service of your King.”
“You must have something - a pony, a donkey, a mule, anything at all?” the knight asked.
“Nothing….. unless…. no, I couldn’t”
The knight’s eyes lit up. “Tell me!”
The stablekeeper leads the knight into the stable. Inside is a dog, but no ordinary dog. This dog is a giant, almost as large as the horse the knight was riding. But it is also the filthiest, shaggiest, smelliest, mangiest dog that the knight has ever seen.
Swallowing, the knight said “I’ll take it. Where is the saddle?”
The stablekeeper walked over to a saddle near the dog and started gasping for breath, holding the walls to keep himself upright. “I can’t do it.” he told the knight.
“You must give me the dog!” cried the knight. “Why can’t you?”
The stablekeeper said “I just couldn’t send a knight out on a dog like this.” (badpuns.com)
Hey, I’m Matt too, that is, Matt Tew
I’m a Web site developer in Melbourne. I also plan to start a church early next year in South Melbourne or St Kilda. The site for this is http://thechurch.org.au
I was referred to this blog. I’m not sure by who. Signposts, I think. You have some great insights, Matt
My personal blog is at http://shmatt.com
A piece of string walks into a bar, and the bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve string”.
It walks out, performs a contortionist trick and bends around itself. It then ruffles it’s hair before proceeding back inside up to the bar.
“Look, I told you already” says the bartender “we DON’T SERVE STRING in this bar!”
“I’m not string!”
“Yes you are!” exasperates the barman.
“No…… I’m a frayed knot”