Sex Education
Published by Matt Glover May 29th, 2006 in Articles of InterestTwo articles today that astound and sadden me. Both have to do with sex education…
The first talks about how the Australian Council for Islamic Education in Schools has adopted a ‘just say no’ policy when it comes to sex education. But not only that, they have banned teachers from discussing things like homosexuality and safe-sex, fearing that such talk sends the message that these things are ok. While I admire the desire to promote a more healthy attitude to educating young people about sexuality, I think this is a “head in the sand” approach.
Australian Muslim young people live in a Western culture. They cannot be sheltered from it’s influence, and with the internet they will be able to access whatever information they like. Rarely (if ever) has sheltering young people from the culture around them lead to them being unaffected by it - I would have thought a better approach would be to openly discuss these things and include what the Muslim faith says about such things. Ignoring it totally will lead to disaster in more ways than one for many Muslim famlies and young people.
The second speaks about how young people in general are receiving their sex education. Frighteningly, the young people surveyed said that the sex education they received at school wasn’t adequate and didn’t answer most of the questions they had. Instead they were turning to Dolly magazine for their information. Other main sources were the television and their friends.
Having not ever read Dolly, I can’t speak either way about what they are saying. However, I reckon it would be a safe bet to say that they likely deal with the mechanics of sex and probably a bit of the emotional side too. It is very unlikely that moral/ethical issues rate a mention. As for the TV and friends being two primary sources of sex education, I shudder when I think of the role models our young people have.
The Catholic church rates a mention, and unlike the Islamic Council above, they are promoting healthy and robust discussion about all areas of sexuality in their schools, making sure that both teachers and students are clear on the stance the church takes. This is a step in the right direction, but it still leaves me with one nagging question…
WHERE ON EARTH ARE THE PARENTS?!
I’ve said a few times in our Song of Songs series that we need more love-education, not more sex-education, but after reading these articles, I think I might have got that wrong.
To quote:”Having not ever read Dolly, I can’t speak either way about what they are saying. However, I reckon it would be a safe bet to say that they likely deal with the mechanics of sex and probably a bit of the emotional side too. It is very unlikely that moral/ethical issues rate a mention. As for the TV and friends being two primary sources of sex education, I shudder when I think of the role models our young people have.”
Sure Dolly and other such magazines like Girlfriend etc,talk more about mechanics of sex, however i’ve read many of their different articles about it to see what they’ve been “teaching” and they’ve had articles speaking about sex with one partener and within marriage. and 95% of the time in those mags where a chic writes in asking about a situation and asking should she have sex with a particular boy etc,they say no.they go through about emotional affects etc and highly warn about talking it through with parents or simply thnking it through heaps because its not to be taken lightly.they tell the girls to wait.these mags are more ethical/moral than appear to be or are stereo typed to be.well there’s some argument in ways of defending the mags for once.
the sex education we got only in primary school and it wasn’t helpful at all.i dont know what they teach these days though so im not saying its still un-helpful.and seriously what kid is gonna ask their parents or teachers different questions about sex?that would be too much the “ideal Christian world.”is it wrong to turn to such sources like friends or articles in mags?i dont think so.
The problem is, Dolly and Girlfriend are being read by kids around 12-14. Its kids 13+ that are picking up magazines like Cleo, Cosmo, Ralph, FHM (And lets face it, a whole lot more worse stuff) and the message that these send out about sex is vastly different. Still good at dealing with the physical/emotional side of sex, and relationships, but there is a vastly different slant on the moral/ethical side.
I think friends CAN be a great source of education, but what I think Matt is getting at here, is the in general kids are getting the wrong education about sex. Well, not wrong, but incomplete. If you read the right magazines, go to the right friends, sure, you’ll be looked after,, but really how many teenagers are that switched on, or even that lucky to have that available to them? Sure, you get some (in particular your young sheltered Christian types) who still have a Mandy Moore ‘Thats a nice sweater’ life, but the vast majority just dont have that around them, especially not from an early age where it can be vital.
What we need is across the board love & sex ed, in schools. Something more than the mechanics of ‘what to put where’ and how to buy condoms. Schools should be doing it. I know that at my primary school we did some great stuff n GR 5 & 6, but it was never followed up on. Crap, so much in High school is focused on results, results, results, with token policies on ‘wellbeing’ and ‘bullying’ amongst others. Yet I see kids getting into relationship through the upper end of high school that they are just ill equipped to deal with emotionally. A program through High school that promotes total looking after of a young person? I’d like to see it. But maybe its time the Church lead the way. Somewhere, somehow there has to be a middle ground where we can teach sex openly, like the school, and teach morals, ethics and carnal forbearance (I’m sure there’s a song about it) like the church does. Lets not be prudes. Lets not be whores.
Oh and by the way, good to see the Catholic chuch getting into it. It leaves ME with one nagging question.
What about Contraception????
Or are unwanted pregnancies and AIDs (amongst other STD’s) okay, as long as we’re educated about what we’re living with?
Crunchie writes: “they’ve had articles speaking about sex with one partener and within marriage. and 95% of the time in those mags where a chic writes in asking about a situation and asking should she have sex with a particular boy etc,they say no”
Cool. Thanks for posting that.
I still think though, for our teens to be using their friends as one of the primary sources of sex education is really, really dangerous. I get asked the “Can I get pregnant from oral sex” question surprisingly often and when we talk a bit more, it is always followed with something like, “I was talking with my friends and they weren’t sure….”. Believe me, these are not young people from your so called ‘ideal Christian world’.
In fact, while faith plays an important role in shaping your morals, when it comes to the health and education of the next generation, I think faith is irrelevant. In all tribes/races around the world, the elders have taught the young people everything about being an adult - sex included. The only exception to this is our Western culture…and we’re seeing the consequences.
If I want to learn about mechanics, or theology, or art or whatever, I enrol in a course and learn from those with more experience and knowlege than I. Reading is certainly part of that, but even that reading is directed by a teacher or mentor.
Mitchell is right, there must be some middle ground somewhere and perhaps it is up to the church, or at least part of it, to lead the way here.
Any other thoughts?
I actually reckon the chicks magazines are a whole lot better than the guys equivalents, Ralph n FHM are just a shambles, all about trying to get as many roots as possible, at least Dolly does have some decent advice.
I work ina school, and would probably be one of the few people in that enviroment who has license to talk about these things, teachers just don’t have the time to fit it in-nor are they trained to do so, and more often than not schools just don’t put it in the curriculum, so its left to the ad hoc bits I’m allowed to chuck in here and there.
These kinds of discussions work best with outside people, not teachers. Perhaps there is a scope for churches to step into the gap there and provide some good wholistic sex/love ed. Not sure if many are doing it but?
I think we need to educate the parents. The parents are the ones who need to be showing their kids what love and sex are. It’s a shame that kids have to ask their friends the delicate biology of life.
I remember 9th grade (NINTH GRADE!!!) and we were doing biology in science. We were asked - “has anyone had sex before?” you could have heard a pin drop. One guy turned bright red, put one hand over his eyes and raised his hand.
It was Mr. Hansen, our teacher, married with two kids.
But this was 9th grade- I hope that all of us had had “the talk” with our parents previously.
Suited to age, of course, you need to answer a bit more candidly when asked “how did baby get in mummy’s tummy?”
But my mom told me I was found in Dad’s Beer….