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Sorry for the delay in posting more of my reflections on Steve Biddulph’s Manhood. Let’s try and finish this thing in the next two or three weeks, eh?

Chapter nine deals with what we men tend to spend most of our time doing – working. And if we were honest, it is probably where we tend to find most of our identity or place our self worth. The first question we often ask each other is, “What do you do?”

Our jobs are important to us. But at the same time, they can be life sapping, energy draining, burdens that leave us wondering if there is any more to life. Perhaps that is why many of us will come home from work, only to immerse ourselves in other activities – fixing the car, doing the garden, maintaining the house – purely because these things are either more pleasurable, more meaningful, or both.

Biddulph describes an item that has come to symbolize the slavery men feel in the workplace – the neck tie. The tie does exactly that. It ties a man to the corporate world and removes from him and sense of character and personality, slotting him into the machinery of business that is all too easily thrown away. But the labourers are not exempt either – the overalls can be just as binding as the neck tie…

So why do men seem to become enslaved so easily to their work. Biddulph simply says it is because of one thing. A mortgage.

I am constantly dismayed when I hear of people buying really expensive houses. Not because I think it is wrong, but because it locks them into having to earn a certain amount of money for the next 30 or so years. Freedom is thrown out the window as they become firstly slaves to their bank and secondly slaves to their work so they can pay back their bank. Longer hours are required to earn more money and the cycle of absent, disconnected fathers is perpetuated.

(If anything reinforced the need for simple living, then that must surely be it. But that’s a post for another day.)

Anyway, the reality is that regardless of debt levels, we still have to work to survive. Biddulph lists eight questions that we can ask to help us find meaning in what we do:

1. Are you doing your share to add to society?
2. Can you support yourself and your family?
3. Does your job allow you to improve the lives of others?
4. Are you a provider for others (eg a nurse)?
5. Does your job provide the infrastructure for the work of others?
6. Do you train and develop others , enhancing their lives and futures?
7. Does your work help protect the earth, its people and its life?
8. Does your work use your innate abilities and talents so that it is unique and powerful in its effect on the world?

Asking these questions helps us find the heart in what we do. And if we answer ‘no’ to all of them – it’s time to find a new job. Simple as that. And when you get to the end of your working life, why retire? In aboriginal communities, the elderly men become the mentors in a way that workplaces would benefit from.

Finally, Biddulph has some words for the leaders of our workplaces. He says, “Real leaders are like little boys, playful and emotionally available, yet when the need arises, they can muster fierce intelligence and purpose. They have good brains but are driven by their hearts. Most leaders today are not even orientated this way…”

The corporate world never really suited me that well. I did the ‘tie’ for five years and was quite good at what I did. My future was more or less assured in the succession plan and the money was good. But I found it hard to respect my managers when I saw some of the attitudes and the tactics they used. I found it hard to spend my days earning money for a bunch of people I didn’t know and who didn’t care about me. And, ultimately, I had a huge issue with being sold as an asset of the company when it was taken over by another corporation. To me, that smacked of slavery and I resigned within four months. I was bored out of my brains anyway, and had been in negotiations about a pastoral position for a while, but the take over was the last straw. I was a nameless, faceless asset. And my entire department was made redundant within twelve months of me leaving.

Spending 40+ years in that environment was something I could never do, but I know plenty do. Most of them have too. But I think if we can help our men (and women for that matter) see the meaning in what they do or at least contribute to the workplace in a meaningful way, perhaps a sense of purpose will return. And for the person of faith, discipling in a way that acknowledges the call of God in every aspect of life.

After all, every human has dignity and should be treated as such at work and home.