Comments on: Manhood: Chapter 4 - You and Your Father http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/2005/10/05/manhood-chapter-4-you-and-your-father/ Thoughts from Australian cartoonist and pastor, Matt Glover Fri, 18 May 2012 00:28:33 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Matt Glover http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/2005/10/05/manhood-chapter-4-you-and-your-father/#comment-51 Matt Glover Tue, 18 Oct 2005 11:18:32 +0000 http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/?p=22#comment-51 Thanks for you thoughts Lucas. A few have questioned the weight that Biddulph places on the father/son relationship. And were I to do a job other than what i do know, I reckon I would question it too. But it is amazing how a poor relationship with Dad has contributed to messing up the lives of some of the guys I see. Having said that, there are many 'miracles' who have atrocious examples of fathers but turn out really well balanced. At the end of the day, I guess you simply can't find neat little categories that will describe everyone perfectly. Thanks for you thoughts Lucas. A few have questioned the weight that Biddulph places on the father/son relationship. And were I to do a job other than what i do know, I reckon I would question it too. But it is amazing how a poor relationship with Dad has contributed to messing up the lives of some of the guys I see.

Having said that, there are many ‘miracles’ who have atrocious examples of fathers but turn out really well balanced.

At the end of the day, I guess you simply can’t find neat little categories that will describe everyone perfectly.

]]> By: Lucas Garth http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/2005/10/05/manhood-chapter-4-you-and-your-father/#comment-48 Lucas Garth Mon, 17 Oct 2005 11:34:34 +0000 http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/?p=22#comment-48 The whole father-son relationship would appear to be such a "fix-all" for pastors in the same way that the old "reset and start again" is such a wonderful tool for help desk operators (I speak from experience) The truth is that all relationships need improving. Quality time for guys is a key for all relationships and is almost certainly the source of some real angst for these guys who feel they didn't get the relationship they wanted with their fathers/sons. Once you get over the hump of being able to spend good "quiet time" together, friendship with dad can be done. I will say I have a good friendship with Dad without getting too mushy or touchy-feely. We can discuss most things, we stuff up and have to ask each other forgiveness. I'm still living under the same roof so that's an interesting social dynamic. It'll probably be different when I move out - absence makes the heart grow fonder...perhaps. I don't know what it's like having a son, I would love to have that experience some day. The whole father-son relationship would appear to be such a “fix-all” for pastors in the same way that the old “reset and start again” is such a wonderful tool for help desk operators (I speak from experience)

The truth is that all relationships need improving.
Quality time for guys is a key for all relationships and is almost certainly the source of some real angst for these guys who feel they didn’t get the relationship they wanted with their fathers/sons.

Once you get over the hump of being able to spend good “quiet time” together, friendship with dad can be done. I will say I have a good friendship with Dad without getting too mushy or touchy-feely.

We can discuss most things, we stuff up and have to ask each other forgiveness. I’m still living under the same roof so that’s an interesting social dynamic. It’ll probably be different when I move out - absence makes the heart grow fonder…perhaps.

I don’t know what it’s like having a son, I would love to have that experience some day.

]]> By: Crunchie http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/2005/10/05/manhood-chapter-4-you-and-your-father/#comment-42 Crunchie Sat, 08 Oct 2005 08:22:52 +0000 http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/?p=22#comment-42 Firstly thankyou for the blogs on this book. I know it's about father/son relationships, but i guess some of it has re-enforced father/daughter relationships in how no matter who our dad is or what he's like, he's still our father and has a huge impact on our lives whether we acknowledge it or not. It's nice to know other people(even pastors)struggle to have that intimacy with their father that they so desire. i personally find it scary too and have set up false assumptions about my father too. Things have been getting a little better too as he starts to realise his little girl IS growing up, and there are more hugs there like you and your father Johnman. so yes slowly my relationship with my father is changing too. You would think being Christians should make it easier and also faith in particular would be easier to talk about, but that's not my experience....yet. You never stop challenging me Matt!! Thankyou for your honesty in your blogs, but this blog in particular! God's gonna use this website! He already is!!! Firstly thankyou for the blogs on this book. I know it’s about father/son relationships, but i guess some of it has re-enforced father/daughter relationships in how no matter who our dad is or what he’s like, he’s still our father and has a huge impact on our lives whether we acknowledge it or not. It’s nice to know other people(even pastors)struggle to have that intimacy with their father that they so desire. i personally find it scary too and have set up false assumptions about my father too. Things have been getting a little better too as he starts to realise his little girl IS growing up, and there are more hugs there like you and your father Johnman. so yes slowly my relationship with my father is changing too. You would think being Christians should make it easier and also faith in particular would be easier to talk about, but that’s not my experience….yet.
You never stop challenging me Matt!!
Thankyou for your honesty in your blogs, but this blog in particular! God’s gonna use this website! He already is!!!

]]> By: ¿johnman¿ http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/2005/10/05/manhood-chapter-4-you-and-your-father/#comment-40 ¿johnman¿ Fri, 07 Oct 2005 03:28:07 +0000 http://www.mattglover.com/wordpress/wordpress/?p=22#comment-40 I have been on a journey in the last year and a bit to try to better my relationship with my Dad. Just lotsa little things like hugs, my Dad used to barely give me a descent hug, kinda like he wasn't sure or comfortable hugging me for more than 1 sec. But in more recent times I now get longer hugs, not long hugs but at least a decent hug, a big thing for me cause I really like hugs. Also when I talk to my dad, mostly on the phone, to try to talk about something other than sports, something more real about our lives is hard, and getting better but gotta keep working at it. I have been on a journey in the last year and a bit to try to better my relationship with my Dad. Just lotsa little things like hugs, my Dad used to barely give me a descent hug, kinda like he wasn’t sure or comfortable hugging me for more than 1 sec. But in more recent times I now get longer hugs, not long hugs but at least a decent hug, a big thing for me cause I really like hugs. Also when I talk to my dad, mostly on the phone, to try to talk about something other than sports, something more real about our lives is hard, and getting better but gotta keep working at it.

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