Manhood: Chapter 2 - Seven Steps to Manhood
Published by Matt Glover September 29th, 2005 in ManhoodChapter two was only three pages long! Almost another introductory chapter, but this time introducing the themes for the remaining chapters of the book. I’ll only summarize here and leave any reflection for the chapters themselves.
Biddulph points out that while women are surrounded by role models through life, men in general are not. Most of our teachers are female, the mothers stay home to raise the children or when families break down, it is the mother that usually gets the kids. But if boys don’t have strong male role models, they simply grow into bigger boys. Not that women are bad or evil (!) but they simply cannot understand or experience the loneliness an isolation a male does. Boys need men to show them how to tackle life transitions in healthy ways. Boys need young men. Young men need older men. And older men need even older men to model their lives on at each stage of life.
Because of the lack of fathering and role modelling for men, there are a number of steps that are missing as we grow and mature. Biddulph suggests seven steps to healthy manhood:
1. Fixing it with your father
2. Finding sacredness in your sexuality
3. Meeting your partner on equal terms
4. Engaging actively with your kids
5. Learning to have real male friends
6. Finding your heart in your work
7. Freeing your wild spirit
Note that these are in no particular order other than the order that Biddulph tackles them in his book.
Looking forward to seeing whathe says about some of these things. Intriguing.
what a “real” man is, is something i seem to be thinking about a fair bit, finding a balanced view isn’t real easy, this guy sounds like he has thought through some really good things though.
He seems to know his stuff. Just finished reading his “Raising Boys” book as I have two little fellas of my own. A great read and some really interesting stuff on being a Dad. Worth it if you’ve got a son.
John Eldridge said once, “Men become men in the presence of other men.” I thought that made so much sense. It’s with that sense of lonliness that we suffer feeling like we are men or that we have what it takes because we lack that presence of other men in our lives.” Cool study.
I’m a single mom. My son has never met his father (who now lives on the other end of the planet) and male relatives don’t live close by. Finding him good role models that he can look up to, trust and learn from is one of my biggest concerns. I’m simply not sure how to go about it!
But I’ll be back as you blog through the book…
Single parents have my utmost admiration. Even when there’s two of us it’s hard work, but to tackle it on your own…
Maybe try some of the local sports groups, or scouts/brigades, or a church youth group or something like that. Perhaps some of the staff at your local kindergarten or school might be able to point you in the right direction.
Good luck Michelle!
Thanks Matt. We’re struggling to connect in our local community. I’m trying to make it a priority, but it’s difficult. We’ve found ourselves on the outside of many groups thanks to a certain direction both our lives are taking. The ideal would be an enclosing community of many families who get together regularly - instead of the isolation we find ourselves in right now.
Hi,
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Cheers
————-
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Amazon, like Britain’s “Jeanie”).